


Five Alternate Vessels Suggested To The Archangel Michael (and one Zach pulled out of his ass)

by LilacFree



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-18
Updated: 2010-06-18
Packaged: 2017-10-10 04:27:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/95481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacFree/pseuds/LilacFree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who else could play the Archangel Michael?  Here are some ideas...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Alternate Vessels Suggested To The Archangel Michael (and one Zach pulled out of his ass)

Dean Winchester was not cooperating. Lucifer had picked up an interim vessel. Zachariah thought that Michael should do the same, but it wasn't going to happen unless he used his initiative. It's tough being the hands-on guy. He looked at the lesser angels he'd set to what was really quite a simple task: find Michael a vessel. They came before him with bowed heads, respectfully waiting his word to begin. And of course, Michael's. Michael stood beside him, a silent presence like a blue-white giant star. In other words, a terrifying source of power that you preferred to see as a twinkling point in the sky. Say, Vega. Zachariah indicated for the first angel to make his pitch.

An image appeared before all of them. The first candidate had piercing blue eyes and a strong build. "This is Kyle Hobbes."(1)

"What qualifies him?"

"He is an experienced warrior. His body should be able to withstand Michael's power for long enough to battle Lucifer. Though he is a sinner, he possesses an ember of desire to do better things that may be ignited by the offer to become a vessel. We would house Michael and save a soul from Hell."

Zachariah gave the angel credit for his selling technique, but his six wings unfurled slowly. "He is unworthy."

"And Dean Winchester is?"

Michael lifted his hand and blasted the angel to the far ends of the cosmos. Zachariah said reasonably, "That is Michael's choice, and I'm sure we all know well that Michael knows best." He looked at the next angel. "Well? You're waiting for Jesus?"

An image appeared before all of them of a tall male with intensely blue eyes and sharply carved cheekbones. "This is Christopher Eccleston."(2)

"What qualifies him?"

"He has an impressive appearance and easily projects a sense of power and authority. He is fiercely passionate about his work. He is no longer young but the powers of an archangel make any vessel a warrior."

Zachariah stared at the angel with all four of his faces (a perspective only available in Heaven). Lips peeled back from lion fangs. "With those ears? You want Michael to remind people of Dumbo? This is God's premier warrior angel, not naked John Lennon." With a roar, he banished the angel, not waiting for Michael. That one's future duties should take him far away from human culture.

The next candidate was a tall black man with white hair. He had an aspect of great dignity. "This is Morgan Free-"(3)

Zach blasted the angel. The job did have its perks. "We are looking for vessels for an archangel, not casting a film," he said, looking at the two remaining angels. "Are either of you going to suggest an actor?"  
They weren't. Good, because Michael was getting impatient. He could feel it on that side like an unlicensed nuclear accelerator.

The next image was of a young black man in a military uniform. "Lt. Colonel James Rhodes. He is accustomed to following orders, and is also a skilled commander. He is highly ethical. His soul should be compatible."  
Zachariah considered this candidate carefully. Rhodes seemed worthy; a respectful young man who knew how to work as part of an organization.

He glanced at Michael . The great archangel's aspect was clouded. At last his voice spoke as thunder.  
Disqualified, for being more loyal to his friend than to his commander. Zachariah supposed the armored suit held no charms for an archangel. If he had nerves, Michael would have got on his last one by now.

The final angel presented an unusual candidate: an albino whose stern features were shaded by a monk's hood. "Brother Silas."

"What qualifies him?"

"This man is already God's warrior. He will give himself to Michael without hesitation."

Zachariah could feel the tension in the space that meant Michael was about to speak. What was wrong with this one? Too old? Too crazy? Too white?

Michael spoke. They all waited for the aftershocks to subside.

Ah. The vessel must be from the United States. Another tiny fissure opened up in Zachariah's Grace.  
"God bless America," he said with his best upper management smile.

Michael's amen resounded with awful benevolence. Zachariah had long ago come to the understanding that blessings were seldom unmixed.

Archangels were impossible. Where the hell was Gabriel, anyway? And the only word for Raphael was 'emo'. As for Michael--well, the boss is the boss. Zachariah would have to do it himself, as usual. "There is a possibility, if you would authorize it. I have a candidate who is recently deceased: John Winchester's bastard seed, Adam."

There was a space of silence in Heaven. Then slowly, Michael's effulgent head inclined in assent.

Zachariah smiled. "I'll get him ready myself. Don't worry about a thing."

Like Michael would. Guess who did all the worrying around here too. No, not Raphael. Very funny.

Zachariah understood perfectly why Lucifer rebelled, but what was the point? Inevitably, Hell would lose and Heaven would win.

And so would Zachariah.

end

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kind of sorry we never got to see Jensen Ackting the role of Archangel Michael. He would have rocked it.
> 
> (1) Kyle Hobbs of 'V', is played by Charles Mesure, who played the Archangel Michael on 'Xena' in several episodes. I still remember fondly the reverb they put on his voice when the interviewer called him an angel and he said, 'ARCHANGEL'. Hee.  
> (2) Christopher Eccleston. The Doctor of 'Doctor Who', etc. Mmmm. I'll be in my bunk. You know, I bet Misha Collins would make a cool Doctor if they ever cast non-Brit. But no one has cheekbones like Christopher. Also, he was the Messiah in a BBC mini-series called 'The Second Coming'. And naked John Lennon in 'Lennon Naked'. Mmmm, Christopher Eccleston.  
> (3) Morgan Freeman. Zach's right, it's been done (God, Michael, whatev'). But he was an awesome badass bad guy in 'Wanted'.  
> (4) Don Cheadle or Terrance Howard, whoever floats your boat. Rhodey is Iron Man's friend, in case you're the one other person besides my mother who hasn't seen 'Iron Man' or 'Iron Man 2'.  
> (5) Paul Bettany, from 'The Da Vinci Code'. Also, played Michael in 'Legion' and was smokin'. I'm just saying.


End file.
